CRASH, CRASH AND MORE CRASH.

CRASH, CRASH AND MORE CRASH.

 A minute silence in memory of the departed souls, one apiece.

        While observing that in memory of the over 150 victims of the unfortunate crash of Dana Airways craft at Lagos, its natural to consider the spate of this disasters in Nigeria in the last decade. Obviously, the rot that has affected all other aspects of Nigerian state got to our airways too. While its a long known fact in that most Nigerian roads are highway to hereafter, the airways that has been the alternative to those that can afford it is gaining the same notoriety. The chance that you will arrive your destination in any journey in Nigeria, by any means is getting slimmer. Come to think of the multiple crashes that happened along the Lagos-Ibadan highway, a predecessor to the crash, the wise option might be to stay glued wherever you are. Except you have Boko haram threatening you.

CONFAN (Episode 3: Nuclear Plant)

CONFAN (Episode 3: Nuclear Plant)
(contined from last episode)
SPEAKER: Thank you ladies and gentlemen for
taking your time to help Nigeria. God alone can
compensate you as this administration can do little
in that regard.
BANKOLE: Ehn! What happens to sitting
allowance? I know how much i get for just sitting
down in NASS, watching members exchange blow.
FALANA: Shut up there! Have you not embezzled
enough? Till they dash you our foreign reserve?
BANKOLE: How much did i take? Whatever i took
was ignorable, or why else will the judge decide to
look aside?
UTOMI: You call taking over ten billion naira an
ignorable act? Eteh got her hands burnt for less
than a billion.

ONE NIGERIA?

One Nigeria?

In considering the question of the

possibility or otherwise of dividing the country

along ethno-religious lines, it seems to me the

appropriate question is HAS NIGERIA EVER BEEN A

NATION UNITED BY FEELINGS OF NATIONALISM?

This question is most important as you

can never divide what has never been one. If

Nigeria has been nothing but "mere geographical

expression" then a division would hurt no

nationalistic feeling or deep rooted feeling of

oneness as there has never been one. On the other

hand, a nation that has deep rooted ties and united

in patriotic feeling cannot be easily divided. People

will die for it. In answering this crucial question,

recourse must be made to the explicit interactions

between the various elements constituting the

Nigerian constituency, historically and presently.

Prior to the Lugard voodoo that

conjured Nigeria in 1914,

CONFAN (Episode 2)

CONFAN (Episode 2: Presidential Address)

SPEAKER: Ladies and Gentlemen, thank you for your patience and co-operation. As you are sitted, refreshment is being served. Another dividend of our president’s hard work is the bilateral relationship with India, who have supplied the apples you are all being served (loud screams from the audience)

BABANGIDA: Shege n yaro! Daniska ne! Next thing you will be serving us tea from those that served Yaradua senior......

GIWA: (cuts in) hahahaha. Be grateful you are not getting letter from those that sent to me!

ANIKULAPO: My people self dey fear too much.......

SPEAKER: (shouts) Decorum please! Silence please! Can i have your attention! (noise continues). Okay, if you talk again, i will have you served tea! (silence reigns). Thank You! What is wrong with the apples?

ATIIKU: haba, Mr Speaker! Why not give us rope to hang ourselves if you so wish us death? The last man that ate Indian apples, we all know what happened.

THE PASSERBY

The Passerby
On those neglected plains of tower, ivory
Laid a warrior scathed and wounded
Once was his name sang and praised
His lore told in many a story

Of many that met and couldn't raise
That struggling hero that desolately lay
All raveling in the mans own praise
None passed but left him in his clay

HYPOCRISY

Hypocrites
What is Hypocrisy?
Making a conference call with journalists to condemn modern science!
Hypocrisy is the one word in English i never had a problem understanding, the examples
always came up on NTA news at nine. If you thought the 1999 election
was every other thing but free and fair, the 2003 was better than the former, the
2007 was superb! Absolute shams that would annoy the Greeks that introduced democracy.
Maurice Iwu sealed his place in history and got his name in dictionary as
a verb; Iwuism, the art of mindless rigging . Our judiciary

CONFAN (Episode 1: Made in Nigeria)

CONFAN (Episode 1)

          This is a satirical comedy on Nigerian leaders, dead and living.

 The Jonathan administration has organized a conference of all Nigerian leaders, top businessmen, politicians, lawmakers, religious leaders, lawyers, activist, musicians, writers, militants and terrorists etc to discuss the Nigerian state. The meeting involves both the living who are physically present and the dead who contribute via video chat from the hereafter. 

SPEAKER; (clears throat) Good morning ladies and gentlemen, in line with the Jonathan administrations puest

UTOMI: did you say quest, crest or pest?

SPEAKER: I said (spells out) q u e s t! Quest! Dan Allah, do not interrupt or I have you thrown out. Thank you. As I was saying, in line with the quest for national integration, accelerated development and running an all inclusive government, our elected President (loud murmur from the audience), our president, has convened this meeting. After so much persuasions, pleas, cajoling, propaganda, threats and oiling of some hands, all our national leaders, past and present have agreed to participate. This conference is also achieving another first, all our dead heroes would be joining us, live, via live video chat provided by babangida’s network, sorry, I mean adenuga’s network. Any question so far? Yes, sanusi, you first.

SANUSI: Mr. Speaker, my point is, it is estimated that this project will cost Nigerian people about 25percent of the national.

Boko Haram: Who Pays The Piper?

Boko Haram: Who Pays The Piper?

  It was the year 2002, a Muslim scholar Mohammed Yusuf ignited a flame, the flame of Jama'atu Ahlis Sunna Lidda'awati Wal-Jihad (people committed to the propagation of the prophet's teachings and jihad). While the name might sound strange to many, Boko haram will not be strange to citizens or aliens.  The flame is now the wild fire that has consumed ferociously our peace, in the Northern Nigeria and mocked our government. While we precariously had the former in most parts of the country, the latter is a constant occurrence we don’t need a terrorist group to point out. Our government is a toothless bulldog, a clawless cat and a fangless snake. Clueless and useless.